Just another day

I dont feel like studying today. Work was blah and it is a blah day. I am just going to watch one tree hill and take a nap. Maybe I'll find new motivation when I wake up.

PS another headache.. dull but still there.

Zoflot effects

I'm not exactly liking the feeling of the Zoloft. I don't want to eat, which for my 5lb gain in the past week is working wonders. After spending all day yesterday hung over to the point of not being able to stand, I questioned if I should take another pill. I mean my issues arent that bad that I absolutely need it. However, I will say I dont have the feeling of bored. Laying around all day yesterday was relaxing but I'm scared that I will just continue to enjoy the antisocial lifestyle too much. Also, I did take the pill last night and I woke  up feeling drunk with the woozy feeling you get when the alcohol is just wearing off and you stood up too fast. Well, hopefully I will get my homework done still, Im not feeling the lack of motivation but more so the lack of wanting to do it.

Lesson Learned

I learned my lesson on drinking on Zoloft. I have been out of comission all day today. Feeling sick and not wanting to stand. Puked this morning, wanted to sleep on the bathroom floor. So much pain. Other than the usual hung over side effects, I cant seem to lay still, constantly moving my legs. Also, for a long period of time from 6 am to 10 am, I was basically laying awake but wanting to sleep and be exhausted but the sleep wouldnt come. One more day before I just stop taking them

DONE!!

I just finished my Dental Applications!! YAY! kinda.. Dropping so much money makes me panic even if its not my money. I just have no back up plans and I am scared what to do if I am rejected this time around. I feel like a weight should have been lifted off of my shoulders but it hasn't. I feel like it is worse now. There is no going back.

Advantages are that I applied early. Disadvantage is my DAT score. I should study tonight but I'm going to take a Zoloft and pass out.. maybe read for my MBA so I don't procrastinate again.

I'm a crazy

Wake up this morning to go to work and I am fucking bleeding again. Seriously started to freak out from having sex Saturday. Then I added the vegetarian factor, breaking out on my face, gaining weight, applying to dental schools, studying for the DAT, and MBA classes, I thought maybe my environment did it to me. Well, when it didn't stop, I decided to go to the doctor. After a long discussion, I am on a version of Zoloft, an anxiety and depression pill. I go home, take a shower and decide to check my birth control out to see if it was broken or anything.. come to find out, its not there! When I lost the birth control I have NO idea. Cuz when it fell out during sex, I put it back in. Weird, explains the bleeding. I think I am going to still take the Zoloft because I havent had a good night of sleep in over a year and I guess it is supposed to help. As long as it doesnt affect my study habits, I'm going to try it.

New beginings!

After having a blog of everything that was going wrong in my life. I decided its time to turn things around. I'm taking control of my life now, starting with dental school admissions and hopefully finishing with my health. Hopefully, somewhere in between I will become a better friend, better mom for my fur child, get a better job, and maybe juuuuust maybe start some form of meaningful relationship with someone. So let me start out with my goals (seperated into categories).

Dental School:

• Finish applying
• Get letters of recommendation
• Extra letter from owner of antique shop
• Study for the DAT at least 3 hours a day

Health:

• Maintain Vegetarian lifestyle
• eat more fruit and less grains
• get to an 8 min mile
• run 2 miles! with no stopping
• run 3 miles
• start timing runs
• learn to love running
• buy new running shoes

Academics:

• Stop procrastinating
• Get all A's
• read more

Relationships:

• Avoid drama
• Stop gossiping
• realize toxic relationships
• do something nice for someone at least once a week

Love life:

• Do what makes you happy
• have fun!
• Dont let the past hold you down
• make meaningful connections
• Still avoid the drama
• be a little crazy
• Learn how to just have fun and let things fall into place

  Of course this does not mean I will go with out struggles in all areas and they will be blogged for reevaluation later. This is to also let me vent in a healthy way without destroying my relationships or love life. I decided I probably need to get more private with both. So basically this is going to be a mini diary but I have the purpose of focusing on my goals.

Quotes for me right now:

Be so happy that when others look at you they become happy to.
I have decided to be happy because it is good for my health- Voltaire